Welcome to the Zodiac Zone!

Here is a simple way to understand every part
of your personality with the Zodiac Zone

Aries (March 21st to April 19th)
Symbol - Surefooted Ram (Born Survivor)
Colors - Red, black and white, and see-thru or shiny materials
Planet - Mars
Element - Fire
Stuff they tend to like - Diamonds, tacky, glass

It is a pushy fire sign, ruled by Mars, planet of zip and zap. Aries are like commandos. They charge right in and wipe out the opposition. Their lives are open books; why do anything you wouldn’t want the world to see? They’re self-centered and selfish, but they’re willing to reveal themselves, warts and all. They are the bravest of all the signs, take ludicrous chances, and scare people to death, but they don’t know that. At its best Aries is nothing if not noble. They have heroes and villains. One old textbook says Aries is “the lamb that is shorn that the world may be warm.” Like most knights in shining armor, the Aries hasn’t been born who wouldn’t give his time, money, even life for those he loves. Aries and Leo are the best signs for self-expression, for they assert themselves openly.

What’s disgusting about Aries? They really think they’re more interesting than you are. They talk about themselves all the time. They like head butting with opponents. They like to fight. Fortunately their skulls are hard as rocks, capable of withstanding numerous bops. I guess the most horrifying side of Aries is that they will not see or take responsibility for their effect on other people. If they did that, they’d have to grow up.

Look around your chart. Note any planets in Aries. Find the house or houses with Aries on the cusp. These are areas where you think, “Me first!” You won’t share; you have to be boss. Think of Aries on the home box (fourth house): tyrant at home! Think of Aries on the death box (eighth house): no nurse is going to tell you how to die when you’re eleventy-hundred and nine! These are also the areas where you do things in new ways. You’re an original here, and fiercely competitive. Apply the Aries principles where you find Aries in a chart. You’re brave, here, too!

Aries is an impulsive sign, and they’re not good judges of character. They’ll naively associate with con artists and dismiss a person of worth if he doesn’t sparkle in the first five minutes of meeting. It’s a pity people are afraid of their I-can-do-it-myself strength, because Aries folks need to be told when they’re screwing up; few people have the guts to tell them. Aries people just ignore things they don’t find palatable until disaster strikes. They want to believe the best in everybody. Their secret deep dark fear is that you won’t like them. Yes, really.

Being First is what turns them on. They don’t like old, used stuff; if you’re old and used, they’ll find a way to make you special and new. Have you ever had a pomegranate? Have you been to Bognor Regis? Tell them the things you’ve never done; let Aries do it with you, try it with you. Even if you’ve had five husbands, an Aries must be convinced he’s the first man you’ve ever felt this way about. They can’t stand to be Number Two, but they’ll take it bravely. . . for about thirty seconds. Ah, yes. . . Aries is jealous, but remember it’s a healthy sign. They know they’re God’s creatures, and you’d better treat them like it.

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Taurus (April 20th to May 20th)
Symbol - Bull (Strength and Stamina)
Colors - Pastels and any shade of blue, pink
Planet - Venus
Element - Earth
Stuff they tend to like – Flowers and expensive things

Think of a baked potato when you look at the symbol and you have the best and the worst of Taurus—simplicity itself. “I have” is the state associated with Taurus; the happy ones have and the insecure ones do not. It is a stubborn, fixed earth sign, ruled by sweet Venus.

Taurus people have strong values. They’re slow to make up their minds, but that doesn’t make them stupid. Sigmund Freud and the Buddha were Taureans. Taurus is the sign of common sense. If you like something, do it again, says Taurus, and again and again. The Bull sees the god in good food, beautiful objects, and comfortable surroundings, but don’t be misled: a Taurus won’t trade in his values for those commodities unless those are his values, and unfortunately sometimes those are the only values Taurus feels safe in counting on. He has other values, but if his associates prove to be unreliable in the love or the business department, hot fudge sundaes and fancy cars will simply have to do. They have the highest standards and the healthiest values in the world, and they will wait patiently for people to come along who embody those standards. Meantime, they make themselves comfortable.

They may act like big cuddly bears or pussycats because a happy Taurus is sensual, patient, and while they may be big or stocky, they are gentle people. Taurus is the calm, no-nonsense mother who wipes away the tears and fixes you peaches and cream in bed.

What’s the worst thing about Taurus? There is no boredom more exquisite than to sit seven nights a week parked in front of the idiot-box with a six-pack of Schlitz, unless you happen to be Taurus, and then you are in Valhalla. It’s hard to get them to go anywhere. They’re narrow-minded in odd ways, and the really low-life bulls will do anything for money, a particularly boring and banal vice. Ho hum!

Find the areas with Taurus in your chart. Here are the places where you want security. If Taurus is on the house of children and love affairs (fifth house), you’d rather have one steady girlfriend, and you won’t marry until you’re sure there’s enough money to give the children the things they need. Taurus on the friend box (eleventh house) will attract you to sensible, prosperous pals; you intend to keep them as friends for life. Any place you find Taurus you will find these high standards, a yearning for security, possessiveness amounting to mania, and those good old-fashioned values we had before MacDonald’s started cranking out hamburgers.

Taurus waits to fulfill those high standards. Why settle for less? They can teach all of us a thing or two about how to slow down and relax, luxuriating like Ferdinand the Bull in the sweet flowers. There is no such thing as overindulgence when you have the very best.

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Gemini (May 21st to June 20th)
Symbol - Twins (Dual mindedness)
Colors - Green and yellow, all bright colors
Planet – Mercury
Element - Air
Stuff they tend to like - Joke items, colored beads, scarves, seashells, books, theater tickets

It is the sign of the twins. This is a sign most beloved of the gods; when the gods got bored churning out Taureans, they invented Gemini, a flexible, mutable air sign.

Where is Gemini on your chart? This is the area where you make light of difficulties, tell a joke or two whilst handling three things at once. You need variety here. If Gemini is on the Midheaven (tenth house) you’ll want more than one career, or a job in the communications industry—write a column, talk on the phone, run a mail-order business. Where you find Gemini you can do one thing only if it is smart enough. Gemini on the marriage box (seventh house) does not mean you must be a bigamist, nor need you marry more than once; but your partner had better be bright, social, and able to do a variety of things well.

Routine unnerves these people, and they’re too nervous already. Nothing is more rattling than to see a Gemini burst into tears. Then you see their dear nerves sticking out like bedraggled porcupine quills, and you feel you would do anything in the world to help them. You can. Give them a million and one new things to do, give them books, turn on the television. Madness? Yes. But Geminis get edgy when there’s nothing to do.

Male Geminis think they’re cute little boys, even at age eighty-two. Female Geminis thrash about, eternally restless—usually with a fair lashing of self-pity—wondering what to do next. A committed Gemini is a glorious sight. They still aren’t relaxed, but commitment to a project brings out the old wit and makes them pleased with themselves. They’re good at so many things there’s a danger they’ll scatter those talents; it helps them to make a list and to narrow their specialties down to about three or five pursuits.

Class. It’s a weird word to use in democratic times, but Geminis have intellectual class. Nothing impresses them more than brains. You won’t find them stooping to low levels of conduct. Even Roderick, an original and charming mid-Atlantic con man client, amused his creditors with his apologetic, mellifluous lies.

Geminis are weird when they come in for chart readings. They all say the same thing: “Please level with me. Tell me the truth. But don’t tell me if it’s bad.” Remember, they’re fragile and nervous; they don’t want to handle gory information. They create a situation where people “protect” them from certain truths, even vital information. Recent studies on stress show that one of the most effective ways of avoiding stress is to ignore it. In the life of every Gemini is at least one unpalatable truth, obvious to everyone but Gemini. They say they want to know, but they don’t.

As far as your life goes, and everyone else’s, though, they notice everything down to the quizzical look on the bridesmaid’s face in the yellowing photograph. They’re always asking ques¬tions. They expect to tell you about their friends and even realize deep down that their own lives, too, are grist for the mill. The high types would never betray a secret, but make sure you tell them it is a secret. They don’t like to discuss important things on the telephone or in letters. Perhaps it’s a hangover from the McCarthy era, when not even the mail was safe. They may even be right. Even Gemini babies are born sophisticated.

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Cancer (June 21st to July 22nd)
Symbol - Crab (Scavenger of the seas)
Colors - Silvery blues, purples, greens, pinks, shiny materials
Planet – Moon
Element - Water
Stuff they tend to like - Candles, cooking stuff, bedspreads, quilts, antique jewelry

Here’s a pushy, cardinal water sign, rushing in to protect and nourish itself and its children. Cancer is the sign of the mother; I know it’s hard to take if you’ve got one as a friend, spouse, or business contact, but they see everyone as babies, and that means you. If a Cancer decides they like you, look out: they’ll cluck and flibberty-gibbet over you until you’re thoroughly spoiled. If you’re a fire or air sign this may make you a wee bit nervous at first. You may not be accustomed to having your pillows fluffed up and your feelings explored. You might even be silly enough to try and make a run for it, straight back into the world of cold intellect or unthinking adventure, but you’ll miss the point of living if you do.

It’s no accident that the summer solstice marks the beginning of Cancer. The Druids still celebrate this day when the Sun is at its most powerful, the longest day of the year. Many Cancers realize how powerful they are. They are the givers of life, the nourishers of all creatures. Their mission is to take care of people, the most important job on earth. Cancers don’t realize they scare people with their superior abilities to be intimate. It is a quiet, understated power, which is just as well: Cancer is the most powerful sign of the zodiac. Without food and love, life cannot go on.

Look up where Cancer is in your horoscope. Can you admit how moody you are in this area of your life? Are you in touch with how much you care? If you have Cancer on the friend box (eleventh house) you’re wildly popular and probably unaware of the fact. Be careful not to smother the area where you have Cancer, give the thing room to breathe. Is Cancer on the Midheaven (tenth house)? Leave the running of the office to others once in awhile. It’ll run without you. After all, if you’re a good mother hen, you’ve brought your business up right and it can stand on its own feet.

Dr. Zipporah Dobyns, the clinical psychologist who uses astrology in her work all over the world, has a clever yardstick for measuring emotional health in a horoscope. She says that the house where you find Cancer in a chart is where you want to be both Mummy and baby. Say you have Cancer on the partnership box (seventh house). Make sure you’re not doing all the nurturing. Kick back and let your partner take care of you too. This ability to switch back and forth between caring for and being cared for is a most reliable index of sound emotional adjustment.

Flaws? Claws. They hang onto old pain; they nurse old grudges. They collect hurts; the hurts fester, and they don’t tell you about them—they make you guess. They’re too shy to speak up. When they sulk or get moody, you can shovel on the cheer for hours and they never seem to fill up when they feel empty. This can cause them problems with food and drink. They’re cunning. They wear their vulnerabilities on their sleeves so you won’t hurt them. Or they play the chameleon.

Money seems to run through their fingers, but it’s an act. Cancers are accumulators and excel in business. They’re the best bargain finders in the world. They love antiques. In fact, they love all old things, and that means you too, dear, when you get old and crotchety.

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Leo (July 23rd to August 22nd)
Symbol - Majestic Lion (King of all he surveys)
Colors - Gold, flame reds, blazing oranges, and dead blacks
Planet – Sun
Element - Fire
Stuff they tend to like - Theatre tickets, luxurious dinner, lions, kimonos

Leo is ruled by the lucky old Sun, which, according to the soothsayers of yore, has nothing to do but roll around heaven all day. It is a fixed fire sign. Leos like you to orbit round them. The shy ones are just being classy. They expect you to zero in on their true greatness.

Leo women train themselves to hold back; princesses know who they are. They try like hell not to show off. It doesn’t work—somehow they always manage to look beautiful. Catch a Leo lady in her holey undies cleaning out the toilet bowl . . . embarrassed? Yes. But she’ll wield the mucky plunger like a scepter and unclog the drain if it takes her all night. Only Scorpio has more will power than a Leo, and Leo can’t bear to lose, even to a recalcitrant boo. Triumph is everything to these people.

Leo men want to be show-offs. There’s no sadder sight than a Leo with nothing to be proud about. The biggest problem with Leos is this pride. If there’s a deal cooking, they’ve just got to tell someone about it. Leos always have big deals cooking, lots of them. According to the law of averages, some of these deals fall through. Other signs accept this, but not Leo. Every mishap is a personal blow, decreed by an angry God. They take failure harder than anyone else. Sneaky Scorpios and cunning Capricorns get ahead in business by keeping schtum until they’ve got the deal wrapped up—then they leak the good news. They know that if they treat their triumphs as secrets, the gossip-hungry rabble spread the secret like wildfire. Leo has too much faith in human nature. They trumpet their victories to the four winds. And if one of those deals falls through, they hope you’ll never ask about it. They’re ashamed. The worst extreme of this Leo pride is the braggart, the teller of tall tales. Nothing is ever big enough, magnificent enough, for Leo the Lion.

These warm, affectionate, noble people like to do things in a big way. They give magnificent parties and presents. Leo is the most creative sign of the zodiac—they can write, paint, make speeches, act, compose music, fix stereos, order in Chinese, and conquer every man or woman in sight as long as they have center stage, or love, or both. The ability to be creative expands exponentially with applause. What’s important, then, for Leos is appreciation and adoring friends. It doesn’t pay them to be snobbish if they need approbation in order to function, but they’re snobs anyway.

Find the house where Leo is in your chart. This is how you light up a room. You’re proud and stubborn and must have unswerving loyalty here. The house you find Leo in is important. It may even tell you what you should be doing for a living. It will always tell you what you’re good at. Just remember that this house can also make you an empty braggart; that applause has to be earned you know. Even a king serves his people.

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Virgo (August 23rd to September 22nd)
Symbol - Virgin (Purity)
Colors - Functional and natural fibers, such as brown, cream, wheat, and khaki
Planet – Mercury
Element - Earth
Stuff they tend to like - Cult, books, baskets, health

This is a nervous, flexible earth sign, as in quicksilver— or quicksand. Virgo embodies the princess and the pea principle: she knows when something’s wrong, and no one’s going to get any rest until she fixes it.

This sign has a bad press. Virgos do nag, yes . . . they show how much they love you by picking you to pieces, certainly . . . they’re cruel, accurate gossips for sure, and nothing’s ever perfect enough for them, but they’re only human . . . aren’t they? Have you ever staggered, bleary-eyed, into the breakfast nook and got your hands on the coffee before Virgo’s inspected your daily attire? Nope. See how much friendly advice they give you, free of charge? Of course they love you. They just want to make you an eensy-weensy, tiddley-bit better is all.

Turn the criticism around on them and they go to bits, get hysterical; tears form in their kindly eyes; they hang their sorry heads. How could you be so cruel? You’ve just uncovered Virgo’s defense mechanism. They know they’re not perfect, so they try to make up for it. . . by helping to make you perfect. Aarggh!

Where is Virgo in your chart? On the friend box (eleventh house)? On the lovers-and-children box (fifth house)? Think it over.

Virgos are superb craftsmen. They excel in the arts and the healing professions. They’re ruled by Mercury, the planet of brains. Virgos and Geminis are the best mimics in the world. Peter Sellers was a Virgo. His meticulous timing and stagecraft made him one of the finest actors of the twentieth century.

Keep your gassy Sagittarians, spouting idealism while they chase the chambermaid and drink your brandy—when it comes to real idealism, the award goes to Virgo. They don’t talk about it. They do it. They prefer to stay in the background while they work their miracles of healing and helping. No one bothers them if they’re incognito, so they get a lot more done. Virgo gets it all done. And they do it better than anyone. Just don’t mess with them while they’re doing it. They have fine, analytical minds. and they never miss a detail.

Virgos have to be useful or life has no meaning for them. Work is a god to them; if you see a Virgo slopping around. avoiding work, be patient. She hasn’t found a job yet that fulfills her high standards of service and improving the world. If she still slops around, breaks a leg, or keeps catching rare diseases like virus of the toenail, give her a push and a pep talk. The perfect job hasn’t been invented yet.

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Libra (September 23rd to October 22nd)
Symbol - Scales (Perfect balance)
Colors - Pastels, pink and mauve, blues and purples, and red
Planet - Venus
Element - Air
Stuff they tend to like - Flowers, clothes, jewelry, art, crystal

Libra’s a machine, the only zodiac sign that isn’t symbolized by an animal or human. It is also the best-looking damned machine you ever saw in your life. You can push and push a Libra Then, one day, the scales spring right back—sproinnnnng. It may take years for the scales to deliver justice, but to every action by you, Libras have an equal and opposite reaction. You can’t say it isn’t fair.

The sad part of Libra’s temperament is also what makes them sweet. They don’t know how to speak up for themselves. In silence they take what you dish out; they want peace at any price. What they don’t realize is the danger and psychological damage they do themselves—and others—by putting up with other people’s nonsense. The Sun is weak in Libra, and it’s hard for them to stand alone. Libras aren’t here to be loners. They express their personalities best in company, preferably with their mate. They’re here to bring people and ideas together, people and people together, and ideas with ideas. As such they make excellent diplomats, artists, designers, teachers and matchmakers. Hell for a Libra is to be alone for too long; even then they’ll get out the books and start a dialogue with God.

Look for the part of your chart with Libra on the cusp. You see both points of view here. If Libra’s on the religion box (ninth house) you’re fair to all religions. You’re a genius at playing chameleon here, pleading the Jewish cause with your Catholic friends, being Zenny with the Protestants. You pull it off, though, with charm and intellect. Libra’s a pushy air sign. It doesn’t matter to you which side you take in an argument as long as you push the ideas around a bit. In truth, you like to take the opposite side in a discussion, just to stir things up. If Libra’s on the Midheaven, you prefer to work in a pretty place. If Libra’s on the hospital box (twelfth house), you’ll recuperate faster in a gorgeous setting.

Romantic, stylish, sentimental people are not what you’d expect to find in the middle of the war room or out in the trenches. Still we find Libra pronounced in the charts of generals (Ike) and Svengali-like, hypnotic dictators (Hitler had it rising). Libras know how to sandbag action. Their expert eyes figure out, fast, how to contain a situation. You’re having a tantrum? You’re the handsomest man at the party? Libras know just what to do with you. They’ll flatter, negotiate, coerce—whatever the situation calls for, Libra will do it.

Rotters and eyelash-batters are found in this sign, it’s true. Libras aren’t usually afraid to mooch or wangle some way of getting themselves taken care of. Even the tramps are refined.

The fatal flaw in Libra is their ability to gloss over anything that’s ugly, mercenary, or cruel. Then there are the other Librans, like Jimmy Carter and Mahatma Gandhi, who aren’t afraid of being laughed at while they humbly stick up for extraordinary, human, spiritual values.

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Scorpio (October 23rd to November 21st)
Symbol - Nocturnal Scorpion (which attacked Orion)
Colors - Black and blue, maroon and poison green
Planet - Pluto
Element - Water

It’s a fixed water sign, and these still waters run deep. People don’t understand Scorpios. Scorpios like it that way. No one has more secrets than this sign, though they are detectives at heart—they’ll have your motives worked out before you’ve realized what’s happened.

Their secrets are simple; Scorpios love and hate with an intensity that lasts forever. They’re afraid that if you know what they want, you’ll take it away from them. They send out fa1se signals, red herrings to see how much you care about them before they reveal themselves. “I dare you to figure me out” is the game they play. They cover this one up with a controlled, “I don’t give a damn” demeanor. They’ll reveal themselves, slowly, to you as you earn their trust. Their eyes bore into your heat as they check you out and make their steely assessment. What Scorpios greatly fear is being hurt in the one-to-one relationship, but they fear losing the relationship with their own self-respect more. If it’s a choice between you and that self-respect, you go bye-bye. Scorpio knows that we all go alone into the pine box. If you haven’t got your values, there’s nothing else you can take with you. It’s a hard philosophy, but they’re right. No one is so loyal a friend, so dangerous an enemy as Scorpio, for they do forgive, but they never forget.

Oh, wishy-washy days of Age of Aquarius, you declare it’s not “cool” to carry a grudge. Scorpio doesn’t give a damn what philosophy is fashionable this millennium. Somebody attacks your child or sister and you go out and get them . . . it’s a matter of honor. Scorpio doesn’t act right away. Scorpio may wait forever. The higher types may never seek revenge, but Scorpios remember. They make sure your cruel act is recorded Up There, burnt into the Akashic Records with blood and passion. They leave it to God to straighten things out, and it doesn’t take long. Their enemies trip themselves up.

Scorpios glide amongst their three spiritual levels: the scorpion, the eagle, and the dove. The scorpion type gets revenge and enjoys the muck. They revel in the vulgar and sneaky. They shoplift and want to mess around with your wife. No one rationalizes actions better than this type; their eyes are so mud-covered they don’t see the Big Picture. Ultimately they only damage themselves in the eyes of others. They enjoy pulling you down to their level. Don’t beg for mercy with these types-your suffering gives them a feeling of power.

The eagle wants to protect her loved ones. She won’t pounce unless it’s necessary. She is proud and independent, and she won’t be told what to do. America uses the eagle as its symbol. Don’t tread on me!

The dove type, too, wants power. Here is the power to control one’s own desires. Doves practice the principle of ahimsa, harmlessness. One of the philosopher Ram Dass’ teachers wrote on a slate, “Snakes Know Heart.” The harmless yogi, a man of peace, need not fear life in the jungle, for all creatures sense he means no harm to any living being.

The house in your chart where you find Scorpio is where daily you have a choice between these three levels. Psychologists manipulate people to become better human beings. This is the function of Scorpio. Do you face your own power here? Do you clean up your own act or do you retreat to the gray slime and live in fear and paranoia? You can have your secrets here. Make sure they’re guarding something worthwhile. Means never justify the ends.

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Sagittarius (November 22nd to December 21st)
Symbol - Centaur (Dual nature - intellect/animal)
Colors - Purple, royal and dark blue, and white
Planet- Jupiter
Element - Fire
Stuff they tend to like - Glow in the dark, driving gloves, beach towels, sports, tickets to games, horses, space

He shoots off his arrows and his mouth. Sometimes the arrow stands for his high principles and higher spirits. At other times those arrows stand for the blunt remarks Sagittarians unconsciously use to hurt people. It’s a flexible fire sign.

Hurt people? Never Sagittarius! They’re too busy flying their planes, cheering at soccer games, working sixteen-hour days, and taking business trips to hurt people. They love religion, high morals, and educating themselves. These philosophers see the Big Picture all right, but they miss the frame-by-frame focus that comprises the movie of daily life. They don’t mean to trample on your feelings, but they’re too naive and afraid of losing their freedom to notice the trouble others go to for them every day. If they noticed the messes they make, and this sign is too intelligent not to see clearly, they’d have to pitch in. Most Sagittarians, for all the fuss and bluster, are terrified of responsibility. Nero was a Sagittarian; he fiddled while Rome burned.

They make up for it by being funny. Nothing ever measures up to their “Ideal”; quickly Sagittarians learn to take life as it comes and laugh at imperfections. They roll with the punches. Sagittarians grow more responsible with age, because Sagittarians play to win, and winners commit themselves. They read it in a book. Their honorable reputations stem from Sagittarius’s big secret: there’s a little club in their heads, and this club plays by the rules. It just doesn’t occur to them that not everybody belongs to the club. They’re shocked when you have other rules: no. they can’t stand it. The dumb ones then preach at you, and the smart ones want to learn more. It’s how you tell them apart. They want to be hip and run with In people, but unlike more frightened, less fiery folk, they make their own In groups. Female Sagittarians want to be a cheerleader, cha-cha queen, or the hippest beatnik on campus. The men try to stay bachelors as long as possible. It doesn’t occur to them that freedom can include responsibility.

A woman with generous Sagittarius on the pet box (the sixth house, not the kitty litter bin) loves critters. She’s a millionairess who thinks she’s running the Bide-A-Wee home, taking in everyone’s waifs and strays. Find the house on your horoscope with Sagittarius. Is it hip? Is it highly principled? Aren’t you optimistic about it? Isn’t it fun? Of course it is.

Guardian angels protect this lucky sign. Sagittarians may look like gamblers to you and me, but they play to win, and those risks are calculated. Stick around and learn from them awhile. They preach at you, but they’ll inspire you and teach you too. No one is a better teacher. They are gross sometimes. They’ll spill dinner on the carpet, scrape it up, and try to serve it to you anyway. When the Virgos start turning green, Sagittarians think ifs funny . . . then they fart and announce the fact. A Leo would be mortified. Not a Sag. It’s all part of life to them.

Sagittarians know where the action is, or they’ll make it happen. If you want to see the world or have a hell of a time in your own living room, get a Sag. They were born knowing how to have fun, and they’re better at it than anyone. Think of Bugs Bunny when you think of Sagittarius. A surprising number of them look like rabbits.

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Capricorn (December 22nd to January 19th)
Symbol - Sea Goat (Practical, Reliable)
Colors - Functional and natural fibers, such as brown, cream, wheat, and khaki plus dark green, black, silver and grey.
Planet - Saturn
Element - Earth
Stuff they tend to like - Gucci, Chanel, Vuitton and other such brands, balloons, and work stuff such as briefcase or filing cabinet

Capricorn is a pushy earth sign, so think of digging earth with a shovel, or breaking rocks in the old prison yard. Easy it isn’t, but if you must, you must.

Want to move mountains? Capricorn can. Capricorns will grind anything that gets in their way down to dust. Time is on their side. It gets easier for them as they get older. They cheer up, too, when they age. Every passing year gets happier with Capricorn—nothing is ever as hard for them as it was when they were just starting out. You get wrinkles while Capricorn gets more youthful. Other signs run into trouble when they get older. Not Capricorns. They are the goats who grew up eating rusty tin cans and wind up with Cherries Jubilee. Saturn, the planet of adversity, is their friend. Saturn makes life so tough for these individuals that they learn to work longer and harder than anyone else for what they want, and what they want is Excellence.

The sign is a cross between a cockroach and a cash register if their values aren’t screwed on straight. No one is more coldly opportunistic than this sign. They use people. They are so busy protecting their interests they cannot stop to care if you get stepped on. Your fault for not looking out for Number One, baby! Then they wonder why no one trusts them, why they’re alone, why their money and power isn’t enough to chase away the paranoia and melancholy. As the Sun sinks slowly over this futile horizon, we bid a fond farewell to this cucaracha side of Capricorn. There’s another side to this sign, a side that embodies so much wisdom, beauty, loyalty, and depth it leaves you breathless.

What makes Sally run? Look at the house in your horoscope with Capricorn on the cusp. You feel hopeless and inadequate in this area. Beware! Do not succumb to negativity in this area, and don’t stop trying. If you’re smart, you’ll work (Saturn’s favorite word) and learn to compensate for your real and imagined flaws. You may feel touchy about this stuff, but you court disaster if you sit back and “give up” in this house.

If you have Capricorn on the communication box (third house), watch the news, read the papers, learn something new every day, and speak so people can understand you; sit back, or give up and never know how much your narrow world bores good people away. If Capricorn is your rising sign, don’t despair if you walk with a limp. Make a big deal out of it—some people think it’s cute, you know! You don’t know, because you put yourself down with Capricorn here. Shine up your personality instead, and stop picking your nose in public. You can turn your scars into stars and capitalize (another Capricorn word) on your flaws. Maybe the wisest lesson Capricorn teaches us is that no one loves a perfect person—makes the rest of us feel itchy, you see.

It’s a fine line between working madly to improve our flaws whilst accepting them at the same time. Accept them too much and you drag down every other area of your life. Hating your weaknesses does nothing to bring you peace of mind.

Chip away at your fears. Be gentle with yourself, but do the work. Fear is at the root of all Capricorn troubles. Capricorns, the wise ones, have learned to love those fears. It is those very terrors that spur folks on to greatness. Where you find Capricorn, you find the potential for being BETITER THAN OTHER PEOPLE, and to hell with democracy. You don’t become superior in a particular field of endeavor because you feel comfortable with yourself. You have to be honest enough, wise enough, and want it badly enough to have a bash at it. Will you? Where is Capricorn in your chart?

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Aquarius (January 20th to February 18th)
Symbol - Waterbearer (Inventive, Humanitarian)
Colors - Shocking shades, white, blue, yellow sometimes, turquoise, green always, and stripes.
Planet – Saturn or Uranus
Element - Air
Stuff they tend to like - Gizmos, pyramids, robots, beanbag chairs, acrylic items or garden bottle

Every Aquarian has electricity, and magnetism; the public loves them. It’s a stubborn air sign. These folks are stubborn with their ideas because they’re new ideas. Aquarians stick to their guns to make sure their new ideas stick.

Aquarian women are wonderful. They don’t talk about boys and clothes all the time. Aquarian men are a delight. They don’t whisk you off to bed before they know your name. In “Sneakin’ Sally Down the Alley” Robert Palmer sings, “I’d really like to get to know what’s between your ears.” God bless him.

If Aquarius is on your first house (the rising sign) you’re a freaky dresser. If it’s on your sex box (the eighth house) you have high ideals about sex. Aquarius on the Midheaven means you’d be happier being self-employed. Wherever you find Aquarius in your chart you need lots of space and freedom to experiment.

Remember too that there are two kinds of Aquarians, the conventional ones ruled by Saturn, and the fascinating radicals ruled by Uranus. Which way are you manifesting Aquarius in your chart?

Here is the sign of brotherhood, friendliness and curiosity. Science, technology, engineering, electronics all come under Aquarius’s rule. This sign wants to give people a break. It’s a pleasure to be around them. They practice what they preach— live and let live.

Before we drag out that well-documented soybean about 75 percent of the people in the Hall of Fame being Aquarians, it behooves us to learn why this is so. The Sun is weak in Aquarius as it is in Libra. Aquarians have a shaky sense of who they are, so they’re afraid to get personal.

Have you noticed how people with planets in Aquarius don’t want to ride the bus? They don’t want to go out Saturday night, either—it’s when “the plebs” go out. Aquarians feel inferior and superior to other human beings; they feel intensely guilty about feeling different from other people. They’re supposed to regard all people as equal, and they hide behind causes and revolutions.

Aquarius is the most lovable robot in the world, but there’s a bolt missing. This tragic bolt is the capacity for intimacy. You can’t have intimacy if you don’t know what you are. If you keep it light, they’re fine as friends, but they strike out in the one-to-one relationship. Put your nose up to their noses and ask “Who’s in there?” They run a mile. This sign invented the line, “My wife doesn’t understand me.” It’s a con. Their spouses under¬stand them all too well and have long since given up on them.

Don’t tell anybody this; the astrologers will bind and gag me, pour boiling molasses in my shoes, and force me to listen to Dane Rudhyar lectures for the rest of the fiscal year if you do. There is an awful secret that lies behind the bone-chilling detachment of Aquarians. They are aliens visiting from outer space. The galaxy they come from is probably run by IBM.

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Pisces (February 19th to March 20th)
Symbol – Two Fish (Sensitivity, Idealism)
Colors - Peacock feathers and purple, soft seagreen
Planet - Neptune
Element - Water
Stuff they tend to like - clothes that are velvety, soft, and flowing. Fortunes, candles, incense, good luck charms, magic looking glass, movies, mystical books, coconuts, dark sunglasses, floppy hat

Pisces is the sign of true love, faith, and inner peace. Pisceans enjoy this choice between saint and slut. It’s a mutable water sign. They can take you to heaven and send you to hell; saintly Pisceans stay that way because they always know they have a choice.

This gentle sign cannot hurt you directly; it is their weaknesses that can scramble your brains. The majority of Pisces people are kind and gullible. Did you ever meet one of those people who sells you the Brooklyn Bridge and every once in a while buys it?

Depression gets them. Because they see life as a mystical whole, they take it as a sign that they’re bad people when things go wrong. No other zodiac sign plans the evening on the basis of a reading from a fortune cookie.

Fish-faces are the ultimate romantics. They find love in ants, books, people, dustbins, flowers, weeds, or philosophy. Fine tuning is their bate noire; this sensitivity is a double-edged sword. Keep them away from horrible atmospheres, and they’re free to help the helpless. Nothing cheers them up like someone to care of.

Self-pity is their vicious enemy. Self-pity turns off the people who would help them most. Many Pisceans enjoy wallowing in self-pity; they use their sensitivities to subtly dominate everyone around them. “I can’t cope! Will you go to the shops for me?” Bat, bat, bat go the trembling little eyelashes. . .

Pisceans are shy. Other people think they are mysterious, or just confused, but a Pisces can sort out other people’s troubles. They believe in Fate, and like the most famous fish of them all. Albert Einstein, they retain a peaceful humility about their tal¬ents that would shame most Leos.

They’ll lie to save your feelings, or just to stake out a little privacy for themselves. They don’t like to be alone too much, just a little, to get the peace back. They can get addicted to booze, pills, or crackerjack, so they have to watch it.

The house in your chart with Pisces on the cusp is where you get by, often without visible means of support. You have faith, and you’re kind there, so it comes back to you. If Pisces is on your money box (second house), you may not know where the cash will come from, but because you muddle through and help people, God always sends you just enough. If it’s on the love box (fifth house), there’s always someone around the corner who’d love it if you gave him a chance.

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_________________________________________________________________ Reference:
Smith, Debbi Kempton. Secrets From a Stargazer's Notebook.